Labor Pains

My last post was March 7?!!?? Talk about procrastination. That's over eight months ago! That's almost long enough for a human baby to be concieved, grow in the mother's womb, and be delivered! I had an urge, a strong urge, today, to get into this blog and do some writing. I guess it was labor pains...

About six weeks ago someone emailed me who had read my blog, and suggested that I put entries into this blog more frequently. That very day I sat down during worship at Shekinah and wrote an entry for the blog, an update. The problem, though, is that I did not ever get here to type it in. Perhaps now would be a good time. 

Here goes...

I am sometimes frustrated by, and other times almost scared by temptations and sins sneaking around in my mind, and sometimes even dancing around in my mind. Pauls lament in his letter to the Roman church (chapter 7) seems to totally describe me so frequently. Why do I do what I don't want to do? Why don't I do what I want, and need to do? Why do I seem to be falling down more than standing? This lament of our humanity is heartfelt and sincere. Perhaps because of A.D.D. it's like I am just becoming numb to the cycle, totally stuck in a rut with no focus on how to win. JESUS is the Answer, but how is that going to apply to me? How do I survive? 

LORD, please direct me to Scripture that will open my eyes and renew my mind. Are there writers in the Bible who I can relate to? Was David A.D.D.? Peter? Paul? John? James? Moses? Solomon? Oh, LORD, please clear away the confusion in me. Please take my eyes and open them. Please clear my ears so that I may hear YOU clearly. Like David said, Please create a clean heart in me, and a right spirit in me. Please do not toss me from YOUR Presence. Please do not take YOUR HOLY SPIRIT away from me. I so desperately need YOU always. I'm worthless without YOU and YOUR Love. Please restore the joy of YOUR Salvation in me. Lead me in YOUR Way, the only Way to life forever with YOU. Help me to focus on YOU. Fill me with YOUR HOLY SPIRIT and help me to be constantly intimate with HIM. Fill me with YOUR Love, YOUR Grace, and YOUR Mercy. I can't do anything without YOU. Without YOUR Love in me, I'm just noise, clatter, commontion with no purpose. I don't want to be religious. I want to really know YOU! I know that I can't earn YOUR Salvation. Help me to walk with YOU. I want to a husband to my wife just as YOU are to YOUR bride, the church. I want to show my FATHER in Heaven's heart to my children. I want to reflect YOU, JESUS, to everyone, all of the time. I'm tired of falling. I'm tired of being in a haze. I do not want to accept the status quo. I want to win! I can only do that with YOU, JESUS. Please help me. Amen.

That is the entry that took 7 months to write and eight months to put into this blog. It's as true now as it ever was. We're all so weak. None of us can survive without JESUS. We can't even tie our shoes, even breathe without JESUS. Every knee will one day bow and every tongue will that same day confess that JESUS the CHRIST is LORD of all. Why wait? Now is better than later. JESUS is coming. It's time to get ready.